"I REALLY am kind of at a loss with how to deal with my daughter's attitude. lol
I gotta be honest, because this mess tries me to no end.
And I don't care what my dad says, she's absolutely not getting it from me, because lately I've been completely non-confrontational, not snappy and not the easily-agitated hot mess that I usually am.
She's just-
..aaaarrghh!!!"
-Lil' Mama Lin (actual name withheld)
Is she already taking her family sponsorship for granted, as we often do growing up?
Does she act like she's reached the "end-game" and now thinks that she knows where the limit is?
Get crafty and go "genius level" Jedi on her.
Speaking as a father to 3 now-grown kids and as a middle and high school teacher of a decade, I/we had to learn some alternative tactics to get my/our point across sometimes, when they got "too big for their britches".
METHOD; DIVESTMENT/REPO - A temporary loss of assumed resources [ie., removal of a door from its frame for a time, short term confiscation of objects/perks she enjoys, lightbulbs, seasoning, tv/smart phone, fave toy, maybe having to wear an overly-basic outfit if she enjoys her clothes and flamboyance, you get the point as things she assumes can't be taken away] can get their attention, especially if you think she feels that you have no plan past spankings.
METHOD; THE WALLET WALLOP - If she can be issued a small allowance, or even awesome personal amenities for being basically obedient and willing to undergo small tasks to learn responsibility.
But its also counter-balanced by their conduct, behavior and cooperation.
They CAN lose a quarter to a whole dollar, talking smart to your parent/sponsor, or being defiant in a public place.
My mom used to charge me my entire allowance for eating all the snacks from groceries the first 3 nights thereafter.
Why charge?
Cos spankings didn't work anymore for me; I was too old and I KNEW it.
So she started tapping my funds when I acted up.
My next punishment level involved my car and free-time.
Nonetheless, she never let me think myself too grown to get popped inna mouf for mouthing off either.
By now, you've probably heard about the dad who shot up his daughter's laptop for disrespecting her liberties.
Case en-point.
METHOD; THE AWAITING FAMILY EXECUTIONER - You'll need a designated disciplinarian for this [but its really just play-acting]. She's so young that you could prolly have an elder family member play "the uncle on the phone Imma send you to if if you won't listen to ME".
His job is to sternly have her answer [by phone] to why she chooses to defy her parents.
Not only was my dad "there", but even when he wasn't, there were uncles and elders we had to answer to regarding our foolishness in my parent's stead.
They'd be like "don't let your mama have to send you down the line to ME to learn some respect.
Y'know I used to tan ALL these grownups hydes [complete with short and poignant description of how].
Now I wanna hear you apologize to your mama and tell her that you'll be obedient from here on out, or its gonna be you an' me, y'hear me, Miss Ma'am/Mister?".
We'd be like "oh, no sir, she won't have to; and yes sir, we will right now!!!" *quaking*"
Even if its a stern aunt, grandma, great-uncle or great-aunt; just someone you can trust to do it right [to be stern, but loving and not menacing].
You may not like to see her shudder/cower, poor thing, but its better than having to dole out ACTUAL corporal punishment.
Its really the mere thought of being turned over to someone unfamiliar who doesn't cater to her, and that she cant run game on. Her chances are better just listening to YOU, is the logic.
We all have to learn to "mind/respect your elders"; ain' no exceptions.
Whatever the case, make sure the punishment fits the crime.
Good luck, "Lil' Mama Lin"!
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